Aqua Net

Is your hair flat? Is your hair nappy? Do you want your hair to look and feel different? Well, look no further. Aqua Net is here to save your hair from the mundane lifelessness that is your hair. Would you like to look like an 80’s metal rocker? Do you want a Marge Simpson up-do? Do you want your pubes to look like crazy troll dolls? Aqua Net has you covered! From the insanely awesome mighty Jew Fro to spiked haired punkers, Aqua Net will take care of all your hairy needs.

Are you bored? With the help of Aqua Net, you can grow a Chia Pet under your arms or an over-sized 70’s muff in your nether regions. Aqua Net may have been THE hair product in the 80’s but its usefulness extends beyond anything constrained by time or space. Aqua Net is the gift that keeps giving, in all different shapes and sizes, literally. Aqua Net is the Mr. Potato head of hair product. You can mold and shape you hair into anything fathomable!

What? Are you still not getting enough out of your Aqua Net? How about we flick on a lighter and have ourselves a torch show and burn off a few eyebrows. Then we can glue some new eyebrows back on and use the Aqua Net to stylize our newly found brows. Hell Yeah! Who doesn’t like pyro and fixing up hair! I know I do! Is all this still not enough to satiate your hair needs? I suggest you go out, buy a can and come up with cool things that you can do with Aqua Net yourself because for under 3 dollars a pop, you can’t go wrong with fucking up your hair with some Aqua Net. Dig it!

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